My dermatomyositis symptoms have flared up again. My forearms are dry and scaly. A tiny bloody rash appeared on my tricep. I have pain in my chest. My breathing once again feels shallow and tight like I’m being squeezed by some desert-loving constrictor–a kingsnake, perhaps.

Local temperatures soar. Bodies easily sweat. The cloudless skies bathe the Sonoran landscape in blue shadows and bright reflections requiring sunglasses and white balance corrections. The sun rises so early I found myself awake at 4:45 a.m. Summer is on the Arizona horizon.

I wonder if these events are linked: Increased sun exposure causes my autoimmune condition to flare up.

Doctors will certainly think so, but the flare ups could just as easily be work stress. I had to get two proposals and a notice of intent to propose out the door within six days of each other. I feel behind. I feel exhausted. Despite taking melatonin, I woke up in the middle of the night, wondering if we forgot to upload the correct version of the project description.

What of my medicines? I am now on just 7.5 milligrams of prednisone, the lowest dose I’ve taken since last June when all this turned for the worst.

Thursday, I visit my rheumatologist. Hopefully, we can figure something out. I cannot live through the hell that was last summer: the itching, the burning, the gasps for air as I wait for lab test results and wonder if I truly am months away from death.

I remind myself I’m fighting this. I can fight this. I will fight this. I did it before. I can do it again.