The red-blood-cell scare ended up being little more than my body’s Halloween prank. Not only were the ultrasounds of my kidneys and testicles normal and clear, but at my follow-up visit, the urologist did not detect any blood cells in my urine—red or white.

Doctors can be paranoid and order premature tests. But given my medical history, I should hardly be surprised. Better safe than sorry, as they say.

Good news: I avoided having a catheter shoved up my urethra. And this latest medical anomaly had nothing to do with my autoimmune condition.

Bad news: My prostate is once again playing tricks on me. The ultrasound showed no inflammation. Blood and urine tests ruled out an infection. Even with the $171.8 billion the United States spends each year on medical research, doctors have no proven explanation or treatment for the most common urinary tract problem for men under age 50—at least, not without evidence of an infection. Indeed, the prostate gland seems to have a mind of its own.